Leadership In Law Podcast

S02E96 Giving Back to Grow and Thrive with Stacy D. Phillips

• Marilyn Jenkins • Season 2 • Episode 96

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Family law powerhouse Stacy Phillips joins host Marilyn Jenkins to share the unfiltered truth about her remarkable four-decade journey from young attorney to nationally recognized legal leader. Unlike today's carefully mapped career trajectories, Stacy reveals how authenticity and organic growth became her winning formula for building an extraordinary practice that represents high-profile clients.

"I was born, I guess, to be a leader," Stacy reflects, yet her path wasn't defined by formal mentorship or leadership programs. Instead, she found her way by rolling up her sleeves, doing meaningful work, and following opportunities that resonated with her genuine interests. This refreshingly honest conversation examines how Stacy navigated the challenges of forging her own path when few female role models existed in the field of family law.

The discussion takes a fascinating turn when Stacy shares the serendipitous "God wink" moment that led her to family law despite her initial reluctance to enter such an emotionally demanding field. Her story serves as a powerful reminder that sometimes our greatest callings find us through unexpected channels if we remain open to them.

What truly sets Stacy apart is her unwavering commitment to community service. From founding her firm's Adopt-A-Center program, which supported local nonprofits for 27 years, to her current work helping underprivileged students develop business skills through innovative "Shark Tank" competitions, she embodies her core belief: "If you do well, you have to do good." This philosophy hasn't just been personally fulfilling; it's been instrumental to her business success.

Reach Stacy here:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/stacydphillips/
https://www.instagram.com/StacyDPhillipsEsq
www.stacydphillipsesq.com
https://www.youtube.com/@Stacydphillipsesq

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Leadership in Law podcast with host Marilyn Jenkins. Cut through the noise, get actionable insights and inspiring stories delivered straight to your ears your ultimate podcast for navigating the ever-changing world of law firm ownership. In each episode, we dive deep into the critical topics that matter most to you, from unlocking explosive growth to building a thriving team. We connect you with successful firm leaders and industry experts who share their proven strategies and hard-won wisdom. So, whether you're a seasoned leader or just starting your journey as a law firm owner, the Leadership in Law podcast is here to equip you with the knowledge and tools you need to build a successful and fulfilling legal practice.

Speaker 2:

Welcome to another episode of the Leadership in Law podcast. I'm your host, marilyn Jenkins. Please join me in welcoming my guest, stacey Phillips, to the show today. Stacey is one of the nation's most respected family law attorneys. For over four decades she's represented high net worth and high profile clients in complex divorces, custody battles and domestic violence cases. Stacey is a certified family law specialist, a published author and a nationally recognized thought leader. Beyond her practice, she serves as chair of public counsel, the largest nonprofit law firm in the country, and is deeply committed to mentorship, philanthropy and advocacy. She's also the host of her own podcast. Stacey Phillips and Friends, I'm excited to have you here, stacey, welcome. Thank you so much for having me, absolutely, so. Can you tell us a bit about your leadership journey?

Speaker 3:

Hmm, you know, when I was coming up the ranks, we didn't talk about it as leadership, as like in quotes. And when you say I've been doing this over 40 years, you make me feel older, but I'm only 40. You do understand that Absolutely, and you're 30, so let's get that squared away.

Speaker 2:

Exactly, exactly. We're both 29. We're both 29. Exactly.

Speaker 3:

I was born, I guess, to be a leader. I mean, that's the way I see myself. But you have to pave your way and learn your skill before you can effectively lead substantively. You can lead otherwise and most organizations I've been a part of either own or I. Like Republic Council, I'm chair of the board. I'm not chair of the organization. We have a president and CEO. I'm chair of the board organization. We have a president and CEO. I'm chair of the board and actually when they first asked me to be on the ladder, I almost dropped the phone because I had only been on the board a few years and I thought you had to live and die there before you got to be chair of the board. But if you roll up your sleeves and do the work and you have that skill set to lead, then you get to lead. You have that skill set to lead, then you get to lead. So that's a really good example of quote unquote the leadership journey. If you ask me more pointed questions, I will answer them.

Speaker 2:

Okay, then let's talk about in law A lot of times, instead of like, say, business coaches, they have mentors. Did you have mentors as you were coming up? Older practicing attorneys? Did you have mentors as you were coming up older practicing attorneys? That sort of thing?

Speaker 3:

You know that is more of a thing now. I have always mentored others. I don't know if you could say my dad was a mentor. He was a support system, an ally. I don't know if you call it a mentor.

Speaker 3:

I did not officially have mentors, but there were lawyers that I really admired and when they said, for example, stacy, I think you should be on this board or you should join this group, I said yes, and I remember one suggested I join a group and it was very expensive for me at the time. I think it was a couple thousand dollars, and I had a long talk with my dad and we agreed maybe it was twelve hundred dollars, fifteen, whatever it was at the time it was a lot of money to me um, still is a lot of money to most people, uh right, and we decided it was an investment in my future and, yes, I became co-chair of that organization. It was a women's pack, so so there were women more than men, women who I looked up to because I didn't have an official mentor, and learning from men I certainly did, learning from women I certainly did, but sort of trying to follow in somebody's footsteps to some degree had to be a woman, and I remember I finished a trial I was very young against one of the premier divorce lawyers in LA. We happened to share a wall. I was in his suite and then eventually I had half the suite and he had half the suite of our firms.

Speaker 3:

But at the time it was me myself and I and I remember after the trial he was congratulating me and I said, you know, I don't have anybody that I can try to emulate in our field. The people I tried to emulate or learn from, not emulate were in other disciplines law, but other areas and we sort of went through the top female divorce lawyers in LA at the time and we started laughing because nobody was like me. I was like nobody, none of them. And he said you know, you're absolutely right, and that is a challenge. I can't be like any of them. I can't be like any of the men. So I had to forge my own path, which is one of the reasons why I believe mentoring is so important Sponsoring mentoring because I want to provide to people, men and women, what I didn't have.

Speaker 2:

I love that. I love that, and you and you're right, I mean you you blaze your own trail and then, you know, have people following you. That's, that's amazing. What made you decide to go into family law?

Speaker 3:

It was. I call it a God wink. I mean it's a sort of long story. I'll tell the story.

Speaker 3:

I was taking a class my second year. It was our only elective and they could have called it I don't know. You look like you're wearing a blue tank top, a blue sleeveless shirt. Law and a psychiatrist was a workshop where you got to draft, negotiate and go through a mock trial in the Supreme Court, which is the trial court in New York. I went to Columbia Law School, so I was in New York, so I took this class because I wanted to get out of the classroom. So I had this big lecture class and this workshop and the exam was here's 12 questions. We'll pick six. You can bring in some notes, go figure it out.

Speaker 3:

So I was in the stacks amongst the books Remember, we had books there was a card catalog. I went to Dartmouth College. The card catalog area is now a snack bar in the library. So I was studying and working on these questions and I wanted to take a break and it's not like it had the Wall Street Journal or Vogue magazine lying around. So I was wandering in the stacks and I went to the California section because I knew I was going to be there that summer, be here that summer working for a law firm, and I pulled off the shelf what are known as advanced sheets. They were published decisions that were published, I think, every quarter in these buttery yellow softbound books. And then once you're in a big hardbound book and I was flipping through it like you would flip through a book short stories, and I stumbled on a case which was the fact pattern, basically, of one of the questions.

Speaker 3:

And I realized just a few years ago just a few years ago that my professor had obviously gone around the country and picked new cases that had been decided for us to analyze. So that case became like what Miranda is to a criminal lawyer. It then became codified, which means it became a statute. It is what we use. And the issue was what do you do when you have a home, for example, in one party's name but joint money goes into it, or in both parties name and somebody's own money goes into it? And this case analyzed the history in California of how those cases were decided. And there was a companion case to this.

Speaker 3:

So I was reading two cases. So I was reading two cases. So when I was outlining my answer. I had this all in these cases and that question was on the exam I ended up with the highest grade in the class. How do I know that? Because at Columbia at the time I don't know if it's still done If you had the highest grade, you got a letter from your professor. So I got a letter from four professors stuffed in an envelope. I was out in California and I got this fat envelope. I thought I was being kicked out of school. So then professors were asking me to work on a task force to do research and I realized that I would have a client with a heartbeat, not just a litigation budget although a litigation budget would be nice sometimes and again it was a God wink. What's the likelihood of me pulling that book off the shelf with thousands and thousands and thousands of books flipping to that page being on the exam?

Speaker 2:

It was destiny, absolutely.

Speaker 3:

And growing up, I very categorically and clearly said I didn't want to be a divorce lawyer or a criminal lawyer because I didn't want the emotional responsibility. And guess what? That's what I did.

Speaker 2:

Wow, that's amazing and you're fabulous at it, clearly. So one of the things that one of the things you talk about is making connecting and personal relationships that that also work to grow your business and marketing as well as grow your network. Is there a? Obviously you started. You're on boards of things, so networking is a huge part of what you do. Can you speak to that? Is there ideas or thoughts about that for new attorneys as well?

Speaker 3:

So I did things that were organic to me and that is part of the advice I give to others. You play golf? Go play golf, most people don't. You like to write? Write, I'll help you figure out a place to write. You want to sit on a board? I'll help you find a nonprofit. You want to speak?

Speaker 3:

First you've got to learn your craft and you have to be personable. First you've got to learn your craft and you have to be personable, and you have to be willing to go on lunches and go on dinners, unless you are just so super smart in an area that everybody needs that. You know, tax lawyers have a skill that everybody needs, right, but doing it organically. And many years ago, when webinars first came out, I was asked to be on a webinar with all business and marketing people and they were meeting to come up with the questions and then we were gonna do a run through and I was supposed to put the meat on the bones and I was terrified. I'd have nothing to say.

Speaker 3:

Nobody educated me in this area. What the heck were they talking about? I would have no, no, nothing to say and we'd lose our time and you know, I'd look like a fool. Okay so, but we both were run through and I did have something to say and I remember very specifically at one point saying oh, that's what you call it. I just do these things organically, you know what feels right to me, and it was really cool to hear experts talk about how they help people. You know, develop a book, develop clients, develop skills, even in that area.

Speaker 3:

And I was just doing it. Nobody taught me. I just this is sort of organic to me and I like it. I remember when I was interviewing with Blank Rome, they put me through, you know, lots of partners meetings all over the country and I was sitting in one meeting next to lots of partners meetings all over the country and I was sitting in one meeting next to I find you the most interesting and we became good friends and he had faith in me and I came up with an idea for our firm that was became a game changer because we had a relationship and I understood his language, or I wanted to learn his language.

Speaker 2:

That's interesting. I don't think I've ever heard that thought process of just do what comes organically. Do what you enjoy and make that your networking and just grow from there.

Speaker 3:

As my dad used to say, um, he worked until like two days before he passed. He didn't consider it work because he loved it. The business developed the marketing, thinking, creative ideas, trying to come up with new things, working with people who do business development marketing, like it's a joy to me. If I had done things differently, I would have gone into that business. I don't know, but I really enjoy it, so I just do.

Speaker 2:

I love that, I love it and you, if you enjoy it, it just it doesn't become a task. It's really a. It's a fun thing.

Speaker 3:

Well, sometimes it does?

Speaker 2:

Yeah Well, and I guess if you started out on boards and that sort of thing, have you, have you always like organically, as you said, volunteer and to, to help out in the community, that sort of thing? Or did that grow as you said, volunteer and to help out in the community, that sort of thing? Or did that grow as you got more established?

Speaker 3:

So I was raised. I'm Jewish and part of the tenets of our faith is you have to give charity, you have to give tzedakah. If you watch the show or the movie, people Are on the Roof. They say even the poorest people, they're people who are less fortunate than them and they should give. My parents raised me to believe that if you do well you have to do good, and I've always been that way.

Speaker 3:

But I remember very distinctly the first nonprofit board I was on. I got a phone call from a friend saying you know, would you be interested in being on this board? And I had just seen by chance, a story on the news about that nonprofit. And I remember when I was watching it. I was getting ready for work in the morning, I sat down on the bed and watched the whole thing on the news about this nonprofit in the interview and I had tears rolling down the face. So she who was on the board happened to call me about that, like what's the likelihood of that? Zero again, another Godwink. So I ended up on that board. Yes, I became chair of that board.

Speaker 3:

And then years later I thought my, I had my own law firm at this point, lots of partners, associates, and I thought OK, my law firm is established enough, we have to effectively sit on a board as a firm, like I did personally, personally. So what we did is we started our Adopt-A-Center program, which has been going on, I think, for 27 years, where each year we adopted different local nonprofit not United Way's local office, but something indigenous to LA that takes care of children and families. And we have taken kids to the Getty Museum, we've taken over an art gallery and showcased and sold kids' photographs, we have taken the kids to a Dodger game, we've taken the kids to the Hollywood Bowl to watch Hairspray, we have taken over movie theaters for the past two years. And we pivoted and now we made a three-year commitment to an organization called C5LA that takes kids for four years and helps groom them during the school year and in the summer to go to really top-notch colleges. I mean top-notch and these kids would never have been trained to speak that way, write that way, think that way.

Speaker 3:

And we've done a career day, shark tank. We did it last year with the sophomores, this year we're doing it with the seniors, next year we're going to do it with the juniors and we have experts in seven different substantive areas, helping them put together a business plan. And then we have PR and marketing lawyers, hr, finance people to help them with the business and marketing side of this substantive idea. They then present to a panel of judges and there is a top and a second runner up winners and they get prizes. So we're trying to help them think like a business person, whether it's in the entertainment field or the technology field or the real estate field or food hospitality. There's seven different areas and it's really cool and it's really cool to watch these kids how they sort of glob on to the idea and try to develop it and speak.

Speaker 3:

And some are pretty nervous but they're practicing so that when they're a little older they could speak. I remember, um, I used to take my son to acting classes when he was really little and when he was bar mitzvahed he spoke so beautifully because he had had training and I remember the morning of his bar mitzvah. I said are you nervous? He said, why would I be nervous? It's like, well, I'm nervous because very used to speaking and that was a skill set I helped him develop by schlepping him to these acting classes on Sunday morning, and I don't like getting up early on a Sunday morning, but I did for him.

Speaker 2:

Sunday morning and I don't like getting up early on a Sunday morning, but I did for him. I love that you're working with the young kids as well, because I know that there's a lot of competitions around the states where different age whether high school, early college can come with a business plan and those kinds of things. There's real money, real opportunity behind the winners that get to that point. So that's fantastic. You're helping to position people and train the kids for that. That's an amazing thing to be offering.

Speaker 3:

And they're exposed to these leaders in the community and to the speakers. I mean, it's really cool.

Speaker 2:

Really cool, fantastic. Now, going back to you know, making, doing networking, as well as your, your mentorship it all kind of plays together that people love to do business with people that do good. Yes, and it sounds like that you've made that a big part of your career and your business is doing good.

Speaker 3:

You're absolutely right and that when I moved my firm to Blank Roam that was important to me to have in the firm I was joining. So Blank Roam adopted my Adopter Center program and we have a very robust pro bono program at the firm and people every lawyer is supposed to be putting in significant pro bono hours. It's very important to the firm and very important to me.

Speaker 2:

I agree. It makes so much difference to to again do good and do good for your community. If you if you were thinking about the people that are listening to this show you know upcoming coming up lawyers or smaller firms, what was the one thing you'd like them to take away from your process and your?

Speaker 3:

What was?

Speaker 3:

the one thing you'd like them to take away from your process and your career of philanthropy and mentoring. Be yourself, learn your craft and give back. I speak in three, so I just came up with three, and that's really my guts. If you don't have the ability and not everybody does to engage and speak or write, figure out what ways you can do that, or be okay with not being on the front lines. Some people would rather be in the back room, and that's okay, so be authentic to yourself. Figure out yourself room, and that's okay. So be authentic to yourself. Figure out yourself, um, give back to the community and um learn your trade, because if you don't know your trade, then you're not going to be successful. So, although sometimes people have the real gift of the gap and they can really charm people, and they don't know, their trade trade, or they're selling smoke and mirrors.

Speaker 3:

Look at Ponzi schemes. The people who run the Ponzi schemes have so much charm and instill so much faith in people that people are willing to give their life savings to what turns out to be a snake oil salesman. Really True, true, true. So there are some people who are really good at bringing in business and don't have the skill set. If that's the case, surround yourself with people who do and just be a business developer. That's, that's okay. Uh, or be really good at your craft. If you want to be out on the front lines, that's okay. If you want to do both, you got to work your butt off. That's good, but you got to work for it. Any which way, you have to work for it. Things don't just get handed to you at least, certainly not for me.

Speaker 2:

Yep Agreed. I agree. This has been really interesting. I love your process, I love the authentic where you're coming from and I love the whole idea of organic and just grow yourself and your community and your firm organic by what makes you feel good and then giving back. I know my listeners may want to continue to reach out to you. Where is the best place for them to reach you and connect with you?

Speaker 3:

On Instagram or LinkedIn or my law firm. I'm a partner at Blank Room. I mean, if I gave my email, it's sdpdissoqueen at blankroomcom, not disco queen. I'm not dancing on the tabletops, and why disco? Because I'm a dissolution of marriage lawyer. But I'm on Instagram, I'm on LinkedIn and my on LinkedIn. Uh, and my firm, happy, awesome, we'll make sure.

Speaker 2:

Perfect, Let me. We're going to make sure that we put all those links in the show notes for you. And, um, yeah, this has been very interesting. I just want people to take the idea of give back, do good and, and people will respond to that. People do business with people who do good. I appreciate that Well, you are Absolutely Well. Thank you so much for your time, stacey. I really appreciate that.

Speaker 3:

Thank you have a good one. Take care.

Speaker 4:

Thank you, thanks for joining me today for this episode. As we wrap up, I'd love for you to do two things. First, subscribe to this podcast so you don't miss an episode, and if you find value here, I'd love it if you would rate it and review it. That really does make a difference in helping other people to discover this podcast. Second, you can connect with me on LinkedIn to keep up with what I'm currently learning and thinking about. And if you're ready to take the next step with a digital strategist to help you grow your law firm, I'd be honored to help you. Just go to lawmarketingzonecom to book a call with me. Stay tuned for our next episode next week. Until then, as always, thanks for listening to Leadership in Law podcast and be sure to subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts so you don't miss the next episode.

Speaker 1:

Thanks for joining us on another episode of the Leadership in Law podcast. Remember you're not alone on this journey. There's a whole community of law firm owners out there facing similar challenges and striving for the same success. Head over to our website at lawmarketingzonecom. From there, connect with other listeners, access valuable resources and stay up to date on the latest episodes. Don't forget to subscribe and leave us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Until next time, keep leading with vision and keep growing your firm.

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Marilyn Jenkins

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